You can be a success story...

I have been thinking about what it must be like to live a life through a witness relocation program. For those that don’t know what I’m talking about, I mean living a life on the run, a secret, new identity, a life of sum times fear and pain. Recently I have had the pain of watching some very close friends of mine go through what I would not wish on anyone.

Think for a moment about your life! Imagine your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, all your family, all your friends. You have a complete social life, possibly a church life, and your work life. All the things you like to do, your favorite places to hang out.

Then some thing happens, some thing bad!! You just so happen to have been caught in the middle of it all, not by choice but by coincidence. The next thing you know you are forced to make decisions that you would have never in your wildest dreams thought you would have to make…All of a sudden life becomes full of pain and confusion. You then find your self not even being able to make your own choices. Some of the events that accrued made choices for you, and then you find your life being dictated and controlled by others. What is right any more? What is wrong? Even that is being dictated to you…

In the name of safety, good, protection, right, true, and possibly love, you are asked, told, and or forced to give up all you know, all you are, and maybe all you have.
Hence a new life begins!! A new identity, a new place, a secret life, you can not let any one know who you are. You must hide and cover up the past, or create a new past to keep people from looking at you wrong or finding out the truth.

All the while the pain of separation of all you knew and are is cutting you like a knife.

I don’t know, maybe at one point it just becomes numb and you won’t be able to feel it any more.

I am sure at some point you would have the following questions running through your mind.
What am I doing??
How long can I keep going on this way??
When will it stop??
Why can’t it just be like it was before??

Have you imagined it? What would it be like? Could you live a life like that? I’m sure they said the same thing (No way that could be hell)!! But there are countless people who find them selves in those circumstances. Living in that life! Fearing the past, running from it, living a lie…. Sad but at one point it becomes truth to them. The new life that is…

There is an expression that says “you can not run from the past, it will always catch up with you”.
Another one says “you can not hide from the past, it will always find you”!

I believe in God and in the power of God!! I have seen what he can do with some ones past.
Our past helps make who we are in the in the future. While not always good, it can be turned for good.Take for example the story of Joseph in the bible. His brother’s sale him into slavery, he then goes to prison for doing what is right. In the end he becomes the second most powerful man in Egypt next to pharaoh.He told his brother’s “what you meant for harm, God turned for good”!

What an amazing story of forgiveness, a story of perfect focus. Joseph never ran or hid from his past, he never focused on the circumstances surrounding his past but always put his trust and focus on God. Who is the author and the finisher of our life and can take any thing we give him and make it a success story.

Give God your past, give him your future! He knows who are, he knows where you’ve been.

He wants to make you a success story!!

Rags or Riches

It has been a few weeks and we are really settling into our new house. We were in the old house for almost one and half years. When looking at photo’s one would think “why did we stay so long”???
Two reasons, one; relationship, the owners of the house are incredible people! So kind, loving…. And Relationship is very important in Africa. The whole culture is relationship based.
Two; The compound of that house was twice the size of any of our friends, and so beautiful!! Mango trees, papaya, banana, avocado, oh it was nice.

It is what you call a very simple African estate.

The back yard...

Now just look at the comparison, can a picture really say a thousand words?? I doubt it….. Believe it or not the price difference is less than $100.. God is Good!!!!

Some would say “how can you live like that?” “what about all those poor people you are trying to reach?”
“I thought you were a missionary..” “Shouldn't you live more simple?”
Oh believe me I could go on and on!!!

Tell me where did we get in our heads that as Christians we need to except simple, second best, or live with the crap? Is that what we call humility? Or stupidity?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not glorifying materialism! We are to have things, not things have us! Fine line…
Where does it start and where does it stop? It’s so hard! Why even start?? I will just except the crap, live with it and hope to love it. It is probably easier to just fight the feelings of envy, jealousy, and coveting.

As a Missionary, oh lets not go there…. That is to live the simplest life of all!!(right??) That is where every one when sending (care) packages goes through their closets to see what is old and warn out or just not warn or in style any longer, Or how about emptying out the pantry or shelves in the Kitchen of stuff that one would not really use? Sad but believe me this does happen!! Lets face it there are people who feel and act that Missionaries don’t need the nice, or new stuff. There are even missionaries who feel and act this way. They are more than happy to sit down with the second or third hand things. My thought is, what I call, old school thinking. What is a missionary any way?You can read my earlier Blog “lets redefine, shall we…”

The time we have been here in Rwanda, we have been extremely blessed.

God has placed around us, an incredible group of people. From friends, family, to intercessors etc., the Lord has really used these people to help sustain us. Through their prayers, encouraging words, care packages, etc.. My family and I are warring fashionable cloths, are able to enjoy some comforts (food, snacks, and candies) from time to time.

I don’t know how to say thank you enough, I am so blessed and through the generosity of others have been able to greatly bless the people of this beautiful Nation.
The Lord has been pouring out his spirit on these beautiful people and setting them free… Thank you God!!!
Blessing in the practical and in the spiritual!

So why the all the blessing? Why is it that we have been seeing so much favor yet so much opposition lately? Please allow me to throw some thoughts down on this. Mat. 7:8-11, Ps. 37:3-4, bottom line is God wants to bless us, he wants to give his children not just good but great gifts, I believe that one of the main reasons we are experiencing Gods favor and blessing upon our ministry and upon our life is that we are tithing a great deal, sowing back into Gods kingdom. We are not just tithing out of what we get but in faith giving what we feel the lord has laid on our hearts to give. Amazing enough that amount has always been there when it is time to give. It’s not a surprise, it’s a biblical principal… Give and it shall be given unto you Luke 6:38. Now this is not a formula I don’t think there are ABC’s or 123’s to figure out God. The Lord is sovereign meaning he is in full control and does what he wants when he wants and how he wants, but that should not stop us from living out his principals we do not give to get but in faith give to see his kingdom expand, and at the same time we pray out Malachi 3:10-12.

Of course we also have an enemy who wants to side track, discourage, steal, kill and destroy all that the Lord wants to do in and through our lives. This would be spiritual warfare!! Thus the opposition…. But we wrestle not against flesh and blood.

Therefore we focus not on what is seen, but what is unseen for what is seen is temporal but what is unseen is eternal. God will always take care of his children! Rags or Riches…..

God Story: Fuel & Friends

Sorry for the grammar! I wanted to get this out quick! Truly a God story!!

Some weeks ago we learned there was a big fuel problem between Kenya and Uganda.
It was only a matter of time before we here in Rwanda would start to see the effects of this, low & behold it wasn’t long till we found it becoming harder and harder to find fuel.
It became some sort of game in the international community, always phoning several people or receiving several phone calls. T he topic always “where is the fuel today, and how much can I get?” It made me think about the stories I was told as a kid about the great depression in the U.S. of cars lined up for miles out side patrol stations just to get a few liters of fuel.

Now a few weeks later the problem is still very much a reality!
Where is the fuel? How much can I get today?
On one day I literally went to over 20 patrol stations and no one would give me any fuel, all of them saying they had none. The strange thing was that at some stations I would see vehicles being served. I was getting desperate, I began to beg the attendants just to give me a few liter’s, I would pay them double the price.
Still no takers! This went on for a day or so. Instead they started asking me if I had a Bon. I thought what the hec is a Bon?? No one was answering my questions, but it was obvious that the people who were getting fuel had these Bon’s. So it looked to me that the fuel was not the main issue, it was there, but to obtain any of it, one must have these Bon’s.
I went to still another station, this time praying before getting out of the car. Lord I said this is not my problem, please let me find the answers here, I need fuel!! I asked to the attendant if they had fuel he said NO. I asked if I could buy a Bon. Not understanding he said yes, give me your Bon I can help you.
I explained to him that I did not have a Bon but would do what ever it took to acquire one, asking him to please help me. He began to explain to me that I needed to go to the main office not to far from there and talk to them about buying the Bon’s. Then when having them I could go to any patrol station affiliated with them to get fuel.
Thank God, now I understood, it is some sort of prepay system. Going to the head office I felt hope, I am finally getting some where I thought. I went to reception telling them I would like to buy some Bon’s, No problem sir, the lady behind the desk says as she asks me for my account number. What account number I ask. Oh she says this is your first time with us, to buy Bon’s? Yes I said can I please set up an account? No she says I’m sorry we are not receiving any new accounts at this time, there is a fuel problem in Rwanda you know. But if you would like to send us a letter of request, we can at least begin the process.
By this time I thought I was going to lose it…. So how long do you expect to have this problem I asked and does this mean that I can not get any fuel from any of your patrol stations? We hope it will be fixed in a week or so she says, and No I am sorry, you can not get fuel with out the Bon’s. So with a polite smile and kind thank you I left the office…..

I thought to my self, what the hec is going on??? There is more to this problem than there seems.
If they won’t help me then I guess I will go see there competitor. Driving to the next station, I pull in line as there were other trucks being fueled. I can see all the attendants and what looks like the manger all scrambling around looking at me and trying to decide who was going to talk to me. Finally a man appears at my window, in French and in very broken English he says “I sorry we fuel no”.
I tell him I know I want to buy a Bon. So in Kin Rwandan he starts saying “ok, ok, no problem give me Bon, I help you. I think oh (Q&#$*Q%@$*) here I go again. Just then this boy who speaks very good English comes and asked if he can help. Buy this time I had already been talking or trying to talk to this guy for the last 20min. I felt like hugging the kid! So with the help of my new found friend I explain to the guy that my car is on less than empty, I have been to more than 20 stations and no one, especially his competitors will help me. I find my self explaining to him the attendants and what appears to be the manager all about my ministry and how God has called us to Rwanda.

To make a long story short…..

I find out this guy is the owner of the station, he and all his workers are Christians. They put fuel in my car; take me for a drive out of the city, up to the top of some mountain that happens to be the main fuel refinery of the country. The mountain top is cluttered with 50 to 60 fuel tanker most of witch, are off loading. I am then lead to an office where I meet more Christians who want to know all about my ministry as they are setting up my account. After the fact, I am told, don’t worry about fuel!! Any times you need more Bon’s just come and see us.

On our way back to Kigali, the owner of the station asked me if I wouldn’t mind coming to him when I need the fuel.
I tell him, you are the only one that helped me when I really needed it. Yes my friend I will come to you when I need fuel….

THE END

Can I have a break Coach??

After arriving in Rwanda the first house we were staying in was in a very dark area (spiritually speaking.)I will never forget this one night. We had been in Rwanda for three months, it was very late, and all of us were asleep. Suddenly around 1 or 2 in the morning, Astrid & I were woken abruptly by a huge thud on the roof above our bed followed by what can only be described as the sound of nails running down a chalk board. It sounded as if a man my size had feel from the sky, landing on our roof. We felt instant free! Looking at each other we both began to pray and loose Satan, what we were feeling did not seem to be physical but more spiritual with physical manifestations. After praying a short time the fear was gone and we felt a peace come over the house.

Now it was time to go outside to see if I could see anything. Of course no such evidence that any thing like that had occurred was found. I went back inside and Astrid and I, very awake at this time and a bit confused decided to pray again and ask the Lord to show us what the hec had happened.

(Our first house..)

I got a vivid picture of an Angel and a demon fighting, the Angel had taken his sword and hit the demon causing him to fall from the sky and land directly above our bed. Of course I was really taken back by such a picture! I thought no way, Is this really you God??? Is my mind playing tricks on me??
In the morning I shared the story with a very good Rwandan friend of ours who is a strong Christian and also was living in that area. Laughing he Said “welcome to Payage (the name of that area), they know you’re here now!!!” He then proceeded to share with us many other freaky stories about that area.

I share that story to set the preface of understanding, of living in a place where God has called me, a place where he wants to see his Glory reveled, his people set free!! Yet to have a enemy that “knows I am here now” and is going to do his best to kill steal and destroy every thing that God has for me here.
I wish I could say that, that was my only run-in with the demonic here, yet on the contrary, it feels at times that it is daily.

Just last week I was asked to speak at a church, the Lord had given me a very hard/confronting message. After running it by the pastor for his approval and receiving the go ahead. The night before I was finalizing my message, Astrid and Three of the girls all of a sudden were very sick! Their bodies hurting, vomiting constantly, it was horrible…. I was ready to call the pastor and cancel, when some thing arose in me and I found my self rebuking the devil and commanding peace, healing and rest to fill my house hold. Automatically things began to calm down. The next morning I find Astrid and Nani my oldest again feeling bad, and on top of that the car wont start.. UMMMMM!!!! The story has a happy ending but I must say it was not easy at all.

This last month especially has been hard on us! I could explain it as being in a rugby or American football game only not being pulled out for a breather….

I have found my self frequently asking the coach(God) “ please let me out of the game, just for a breather!”

Do you Dare??

For all of those who are in long term Missions, have been in Missions, and are thinking about Missions!

“Missions” What a term!! What a calling! What a life!! On the front lines some say. Still others think that it is an easy way out to what they call “real life”.
Following dreams, visions, and desires that one believes has been put in them buy God him self. The sticky point is not following those things but to stay before the Lord when those things start to become reality. When they begin to grow and take shape before your eyes.
Do you dare to dream?
Do you dare to let me place my vision and desires inside you?
Do you dare to follow?
Do you dare to stay before me?
These are questions that the Lord has asked me! They are questions that I believe he asks every one that will say here I am Lord send me.
I said yes, yes, of course, yes to all those questions. Then the dreams came. The Visions started, and the desires became so heavy on my heart.
He reminds me often that they are his and not mine. Then he follows up with more questions.

How vulnerable will you be?
How far will you go?
Will you stay before me?
Will you trust me?
These are cutting questions!!! Not easy to answer!!! But I will, I will go all the way. I will stay before you. I will….. (GULP) trust you.

I see people falling left, right, and center around me. Being chewed up and spit out so to speak. My eyes always filled with tears. With a lump in my throat, I ask Lord are you there???
He says “Travis I am here!” I say “Lord???” His responses “I didn’t say it would be easy. Travis this is war. Do you trust me? Will you stay before me? I AM HERE!! Are you with me?"............. I am here, I am with you Lord….. Okay I trust you. Now we walk on!

I write this with tears streaming down my face, as I know many of those who have been beaten down chewed up and spit out by the enemy, giving up on God, the church and his people. Because of what they have seen in the war or have experienced. (I was one of them at one time.) I know others who have left the war zone only to pick up the fight some where else.

The truth is Missions can hurt. It can be filled with joy but also with tears. There can be pain in the offering!Blood and even death are many times close by. It is not an easy life! It is a war! It is reality! Fighting for people, and their eternity.

The questions remain hard, sobering questions!
Do you Dare?
How far will you go?
How vulnerable will you be?
Will you stay before me?
Will you trust me?

It hurts but I say yes I will go and yes I Dare to trust you with my life.

One Week.....

(Sorry no photos this time.)

Oh my…. Another April…. This means that starting on the 7^th to the 14^th, every thing in Rwanda becomes even more increasingly difficult to handle. The mark of the Genocide, from thirteen years ago.
This is a time of mourning, of sadness, and reliving of the trauma that was inflicted years ago. One week, to relive hell…. Not much happens on this week, we sit around listening to the painful memories of those we have grown to love and of those we are getting to know.
Such Pain!!!!! Such Trauma!!!! Is there an end? I am only silently listening, praying and knowing that it is this pain and trauma that the Lord has sent us here to combat and comfort. To bring an end to such hell!!

One week to remember, one week to relive, one week is over and then it is back to surviving, picking up the pieces from yet another year of unresolved pain from inside the heart and mind.
One week is set aside, reserved so to speak for such events to take place. Then one must move on, it is the only way from keeping ones self from collapsing from the pain, or becoming paralyzed from the trauma.
So it is suppressed, pushed down and contained. For how long???

I am told stories that I can not imagine! One of my good friends tells me of a time when a group of 14 men came looking for her, they did not manage to find her so they went to one of her neighbors. The men (all 14) raped her friend and left her to live with it. Its stories like these and much, much worse that we hear day after day. All I can do this week is cry….

The worse thought is that these people don’t just live with it for a week but every day of their lives!!

I am sorry, I can’t go any further………. It hurts too much!!

God help me to bring your healing to such a hurting people!

My bike...

Rwanda, the land of a thousand hills.

Imagine all these hills, for you that have your mountain bikes or rollerblades it would either be a thrill or let’s say a hell of a work out. My thoughts are forget the up hill just let me have a nice bike and feel the wind in my hair as I go as fast as humanly possibly down these killer hill sides.

Now let’s see where can I find such machine to let me enjoy this ride. While driving one day to Kibuye (the far western province, right on Lake Kivu) I saw it, it was perfect. I have never seen something like this before. I had to have it, what a ride it would be. A bike! Home made, very sturdy and I’m sure not to expensive. I stopped the car, called the boy over and in my best Kinyarwandan (local language) told the boy that I wanted to buy his bike from him for 10,000frw ($10). A bit surprised, the boy says 20,000frw ($20).
This went on for a while, finally he agreed, the payment was made and he helped me to load it into the car.Wow I had my bike finally.

But don’t you think for one moment that I will be caught dead going down one of these hills with this thing. Unlike the Rwandese, you should see these kids ride these things.
It sure makes a great souvenir to sit on my back porch area though.