Do you Dare??

For all of those who are in long term Missions, have been in Missions, and are thinking about Missions!

“Missions” What a term!! What a calling! What a life!! On the front lines some say. Still others think that it is an easy way out to what they call “real life”.
Following dreams, visions, and desires that one believes has been put in them buy God him self. The sticky point is not following those things but to stay before the Lord when those things start to become reality. When they begin to grow and take shape before your eyes.
Do you dare to dream?
Do you dare to let me place my vision and desires inside you?
Do you dare to follow?
Do you dare to stay before me?
These are questions that the Lord has asked me! They are questions that I believe he asks every one that will say here I am Lord send me.
I said yes, yes, of course, yes to all those questions. Then the dreams came. The Visions started, and the desires became so heavy on my heart.
He reminds me often that they are his and not mine. Then he follows up with more questions.

How vulnerable will you be?
How far will you go?
Will you stay before me?
Will you trust me?
These are cutting questions!!! Not easy to answer!!! But I will, I will go all the way. I will stay before you. I will….. (GULP) trust you.

I see people falling left, right, and center around me. Being chewed up and spit out so to speak. My eyes always filled with tears. With a lump in my throat, I ask Lord are you there???
He says “Travis I am here!” I say “Lord???” His responses “I didn’t say it would be easy. Travis this is war. Do you trust me? Will you stay before me? I AM HERE!! Are you with me?"............. I am here, I am with you Lord….. Okay I trust you. Now we walk on!

I write this with tears streaming down my face, as I know many of those who have been beaten down chewed up and spit out by the enemy, giving up on God, the church and his people. Because of what they have seen in the war or have experienced. (I was one of them at one time.) I know others who have left the war zone only to pick up the fight some where else.

The truth is Missions can hurt. It can be filled with joy but also with tears. There can be pain in the offering!Blood and even death are many times close by. It is not an easy life! It is a war! It is reality! Fighting for people, and their eternity.

The questions remain hard, sobering questions!
Do you Dare?
How far will you go?
How vulnerable will you be?
Will you stay before me?
Will you trust me?

It hurts but I say yes I will go and yes I Dare to trust you with my life.

One Week.....

(Sorry no photos this time.)

Oh my…. Another April…. This means that starting on the 7^th to the 14^th, every thing in Rwanda becomes even more increasingly difficult to handle. The mark of the Genocide, from thirteen years ago.
This is a time of mourning, of sadness, and reliving of the trauma that was inflicted years ago. One week, to relive hell…. Not much happens on this week, we sit around listening to the painful memories of those we have grown to love and of those we are getting to know.
Such Pain!!!!! Such Trauma!!!! Is there an end? I am only silently listening, praying and knowing that it is this pain and trauma that the Lord has sent us here to combat and comfort. To bring an end to such hell!!

One week to remember, one week to relive, one week is over and then it is back to surviving, picking up the pieces from yet another year of unresolved pain from inside the heart and mind.
One week is set aside, reserved so to speak for such events to take place. Then one must move on, it is the only way from keeping ones self from collapsing from the pain, or becoming paralyzed from the trauma.
So it is suppressed, pushed down and contained. For how long???

I am told stories that I can not imagine! One of my good friends tells me of a time when a group of 14 men came looking for her, they did not manage to find her so they went to one of her neighbors. The men (all 14) raped her friend and left her to live with it. Its stories like these and much, much worse that we hear day after day. All I can do this week is cry….

The worse thought is that these people don’t just live with it for a week but every day of their lives!!

I am sorry, I can’t go any further………. It hurts too much!!

God help me to bring your healing to such a hurting people!

My bike...

Rwanda, the land of a thousand hills.

Imagine all these hills, for you that have your mountain bikes or rollerblades it would either be a thrill or let’s say a hell of a work out. My thoughts are forget the up hill just let me have a nice bike and feel the wind in my hair as I go as fast as humanly possibly down these killer hill sides.

Now let’s see where can I find such machine to let me enjoy this ride. While driving one day to Kibuye (the far western province, right on Lake Kivu) I saw it, it was perfect. I have never seen something like this before. I had to have it, what a ride it would be. A bike! Home made, very sturdy and I’m sure not to expensive. I stopped the car, called the boy over and in my best Kinyarwandan (local language) told the boy that I wanted to buy his bike from him for 10,000frw ($10). A bit surprised, the boy says 20,000frw ($20).
This went on for a while, finally he agreed, the payment was made and he helped me to load it into the car.Wow I had my bike finally.

But don’t you think for one moment that I will be caught dead going down one of these hills with this thing. Unlike the Rwandese, you should see these kids ride these things.
It sure makes a great souvenir to sit on my back porch area though.

Heaven Touching Earth

Heaven Touching Earth, once a dream, now becoming a reality. Never would I have thought to be so close.

Can you see it?? Look closely at the photo’s, It’s there you know.
Let me share with you part of a dream I had on Nov.26, 2004. Perhaps it will help you to see what I see.

I was on a big property by the water. There were palm trees and a very big building. There were many other smaller buildings like bungalows on the compound as well. Little black and white children running all around. There were many more details but that was the just of it.
I woke up to the sound of my voice, praying about this place I saw in my dream; asking the Lord where it was, and to make it so in his timing. I also asked him what this place would be called.
I fell back to sleep, and again I saw the land only this time I was looking at the big building. On the buildings wall was written in huge letters “Heaven Touching Earth.” Instantly I was awake, I got out of bed right away to write this dream down as I had seen it, praying all the while that if this was from the Lord that He would make it happen in his timing.
Since then the Lord has added to that dream. I can not remember exactly when, but it was not long after that dream, that the Lord had given me a vision. I saw that huge building again, this time I was inside. I saw children every where, they were on their knees before God worshiping and crying out to him. It was so intense! I saw the Lord coming and touching the children and people in the building, setting them free from their pain, sicknesses, and traumas. Then raising them up as whole, healthy, spiritual warriors with no fear. They went out, chasing the darkness out of their Nation. And doing as He had done to them; setting people free from their pains, sicknesses, and traumas.

I asked the Lord if such a place could exist and if so to please let me be a partaker.

He told me that if I would follow his every direction, and facilitate such a place without getting in his way, that it will be so. He will come, He will touch, He will set free, and it will be a place where Heaven will touch earth!!!
This is very humbling, such a task is so great and bigger than I can fathom! Yet I have seen the Lords hand in every step assuring me that it is him and not me who will accomplish such a thing. This is his project, these are his people, and I am but a partaker in his glorious plan.
He has provided land and building plans. A builder has expressed interest to help. Today, Heaven Touching Earth is in the stage of raising the funds for the development of the land and building of the buildings.
Please pray with us and believe with us that such a place will exist, a place of education, healing, and spiritual preparation. A place of wholeness for at least 256 orphans and 32 widows!

Look again at the photos. Can you see it?? I can…

Coincidence or.... UMMMM.....

A while ago, I spent almost the whole day at the office of our internet provider. I had noticed that we could receive emails but could not send any out. This went on for about four days.
So I decided that I should call the support center and see about getting help to fix the problem. After several phone calls, costing me 4000 Rwandan francs ($8 or 6 euro’s) I had had enough and it was time to just go to the office and find a Technician willing to help me.
The timing of this inconvenience was just great as we were in constant communication with people from the States about our Kibuye project. They had been waiting on info from us that of course now had been delayed for a few days.
I grabbed my computer, jumped in the car and headed off to town. When arriving there was no problem getting some one to see me. I was ushered right into the wireless internet managers office. I explained the problem I was having, a bit confused she asked me to show her. I fired up the computer and showed her what I was talking about. She asked me if she could try some thing.
Taking the computer, she sent herself a test email, much to my surprise it went through no problem. She said: ”See there is no problem… “ Now wait a moment how is that possible? So I tried to send a few test emails to several people on my contact list. Nothing would work. I tried again with the managers address that she had typed in before, again no problem, it went through. I explained to her that every time I sent her an email it would work but not with any one else in my address book. She did not seem to be interested in the problem. So getting a little louder I politely demanded to see a technician that could help me.
After waiting ten minutes a very nice girl arrived. Once again I went through the whole spiel of what was going on and once again the computer was taken “to try some thing out”. After checking some of my settings, the computer shut off. I thought OH (@*#&$%^!!*^) guess what… the battery died and I had left my charger at home. After all I should have known that a little help would take more than 2 hours right? (The life of my battery)……

The nice lady says; ”How about you go home and call me, then I can walk you through some stuff.”

I’m thinking ‘yah right’, like I am going to spend another $10 on talking to you on the phone. So I suggest that I will run home and grab the charger, this way I can insure that the problem will be fixed today and hopefully before I leave the office a second time. Thank God she agrees!
We set up the computer and I went to plug it in, and……. Wouldn’t you know, I forgot the adapter! (For those of you who don’t know this… the entire world has different outlets than the States has.) Now I couldn’t even plug my computer in. At this I gave up, I sat in the chair with my hands on my head not knowing if I should cry, or curse… Luckily the Technician saw my despair, if you would call it that. She said to worry she would be right back. In about 20 minutes she returned with an adapter. Oh I could have kissed her, but I didn’t.

We then searched for the problem. She checked all the settings on the computer, ran some tests and said; “I don’t understand this, your settings are correct.” Still not functioning properly, she decided to put in the settings of another outgoing mail server. All of a sudden the problem had reversed itself, now we could send but not receive. What the hec was happening, we were both confused. We tried to log on a few more times and over and over would receive the same error. We were both stuck and just talked about what was happening and how we did not understand it. By this time it was late and we had spent many hours trying to find a solution. Should we try again tomorrow hoping for better results? This could not be happening, I thought; ”Lord we have so much communication that needs to happen. Please let us figure this thing out!” I tried to connect one last time hoping for a miracle, and a miracle I got.
Both sending and receiving worked with no problem. We looked at each other in shear amazement, wondering what just happened. “It worked, try it again”. I said. We sent out test after test and every time it worked as if nothing had ever been wrong. We just started laughing, I thanked her and went on my way back home. My biggest thank you went out to God! No explanation of how, first it was working then it was not then it was again. Coincidence or….. UMMMMM… Things like this happen far too often here for it just to be a coincidence. I am not one to quickly say there is a demon in every bush, but after a long day like that you better believe I was telling Satan how much he sucked and that God was better.

Don't ask me, I just live here!

In missions you have different groups. There are the senders, investors, mission trips, short term, project focused, long term (those on the ground). I may have left some out.

Senders; churches, religious organizations, or nongovernmental organizations. Investors/Donors; those providing the resources to see the mission accomplished they can be churches, business’, governments, or individual people. Mission trips; individuals or teams of people spending between a week to a few months usually but not always, helping those on the ground. Short term; people that most often come to help in various aspects with ministries/projects that are already on the ground running, or to help launch off new projects. It is these people whom usually commit for 6months to 2 years. Project focused; can be religious or non religious activities such as developmental, health, or educational. These usually have a 2to4 year focus in specific areas or regions. Long term; has got different definitions depending on who you talk to. So I will just give my opinion. Some one who has dedicated their life to come live and work for 2 or more years. After 2 years one will usually go or stay for much longer.

I have personally spent a lot of time on the mission trip and short term side. I most recently have moved over to the long term side. My time doing mission trips and working short term had left me learning a great deal from my mentors and the long term people on the ground where I worked. I learned to be a disciple is to be a learner (that is the definition in the Greek). I have done or tried to do just that. Every where I have found my self, I have tried to be a learner in many aspects. A long termer once told me. “Some times I wonder why I ever take mission trip teams”. I asked him what he meant, I just happened to be a leader of a mission team that was there working with him at the time. He said that more often than not he had to clean up and I quote “The shit” after they leave. That statement has stuck with me for many years, always wondering what it must be like for some one who is living and working in a place or so long. That they have grown to love the people and culture, calling and even many times considering the place home. What is it that would make them not to desire the help? What “shit” is he speaking of? I have now been living and working in Rwanda for almost two years and as you may or may not know, Rwanda is a very small Nation. This means that is pretty easy to get to know people from various backgrounds. The International community is some what close here.

I have friends who are church planting, some are working with the existing churches, others with big or small mission organizations. Some people are Christian business men, others are in the diplomatic world (working with embassies).

Rwanda has become home to me (no longer the States nor Europe.) I have really fallen in love with the people and could say that at times I feel the Lord’s heart for them. I am often moved too tears when I think about their pain and the Lord’s desire to heal it. I find myself praying over and over again to use me.

After being here for a while and listening to many of the long term missionaries, many of them are saying the same thing about mission trips. “Wow what a blessing, glad they came but thank God they are gone”.
I have learned that hosting teams is a great deal of work, months of prep and planning go into just a few weeks. When the teams arrive, life as we (those on the ground) know it comes to a dead stop. Huge sacrifices are made in work and family. You are at the beckon call so to speak, and one can grow very weary. There can be little to no consideration of you, your life or work on the ground.
I say this with much experience as one who has led many mission trips in to many countries. By no means am I saying that this is the case all the time. But have seen it happen more often than I would have liked to.

Once again the following does not apply to all groups
As I think back to many of those mission trips I now can see how my team and I really could have done better. Most of the time we had our own plans, thoughts and agendas on how we wanted to see the mission trip go. We expected the people on the ground to facilitate those things so that we could see them happen.
Even in the cases of working under projects that those on the ground had running. We found our selves wanting to do more our own thing or would tweak their project to fit in more of our desires.
Not really a servants heart I guess you could say. We wanted the “mission experience” on our terms and expected those on the ground to serve our needs and wants, giving us the great mission experience. Not us coming to serve their ongoing ministry. Yet to them this is not an experience, this is their life.

I have done the above not only with teams I have led, but have now experienced this for my self and heard many weary missionary friends share similar stories.

Sadly enough; in the times where large amounts of money were involved, preconceived ideas, plans, desires and agendas ruled the implementation of the funds. Was the question ever raised where to put that money or how it would be best used? No, after all it is the donor’s money… All the while the long termer, whom has given their life to live and serve in such a place just sits there and says “don’t ask me I just live here”.

Prayer works

I was sitting in my living room just a few days ago, reflecting on things in the past. Here I am drinking my morning cup of coffee, staring off in to space, when all of a sudden I have this over whelming since of thankfulness and humility come over me.

We have now been here in Rwanda for about 21 months that is almost two years with out leaving.

I thought, WOW GOD, I nor my family, have been sick in almost two years. This is amazing!!!! No really it is!!! We live in Africa, people all around us are always having problems. Whether it is malaria, hepatitis A, endless stomach problems, etc. etc. From the locals to the internationals, sickness is just very common here.

Of course we have had the minor colds due to climate changes, and once in a great while one of the girls would get a minor ear infection. But no sicknesses, I really began to pray and worship God over this.

This is not something that I want to over look or chalk up to coincidence. This is the Lords mighty hand of protection upon my family and me.

I remembered back to the year that I spent in Kenya. I had gotten malaria four times, and remember spending more time on the toilet than any where else. It seemed if Astrid and I were always sick at some time. We were for sure in a tuff place. In every aspect of our lives we felt we were dieing. Towards the end of the year we were dry bones walking, physically, emotionally, spiritually, just barley hanging on. God was all we had left, and even that was sometimes questionable.

I say all that to say this, we were taught some very valuable lesions in that year, before, during and after.

All of which I can not write now with out going on for days, perhaps in our book one day, Ha Ha….

One of the valuable lesions we had learned was when going out on mission, bath, surround, and soak your self in prayer. Have a team of intercessors dedicated to you and your mission.

This we have done!!! By no means were we planning on being Satan’s play toys again. Before going to Rwanda we had shaped around us a mighty team. A team of family, friends, and even strangers whom believe in what God is doing through our ministry and in this wonderful Nation, dedicated to pray for us, our ministry, and this nation. We have seen Gods power, felt his protection, and have been blessed to see this team even grow through the months. THANK YOU INTERSESORS! The fruit of this Nation is yours.
But most of all THANK YOU GOD!! May your Glory continue to fall on this place, and your wholeness fill this Nation.

Amen.