The Glasses we wear...

I have found in dealing with life and living cross culturally, there are two kinds of glasses that people where. Or two ways that people have a tendency to look at things or live so to speak, there are those that compare everything they see and everything they experience to what they know. Meaning that they place everything into their own cultural context, this is more often than not a coping mechanism to make themselves feel more comfortable with all the differences they are seeing and experiencing.
They say to themselves and or those around them things like; we have that where I am from to, we do the same in my culture, People are people no matter where you are, etc..
There is nothing wrong with this per say. When put in a place where nothing is familiar and we are as uncomfortable as it gets, it is natural to try to make oneself somehow feel more at home by likening what is seen or what is being experienced to something that is well known to us. . When or if this does not occur can cause someone to go into what is called culture shock. There are various levels of culture shock that one can go through that I will not go into.
The truth is; People are people not matter where you go. That is the same as saying no matter where you go, there you are… You can always find some underlining things no matter what culture you are in, this is because of the fact that we are all made by the same wonderful creator. It is also true to say that, that same wonderful creator is a very creative creator. Meaning there is not two people on this earth that are exactly the same.
I will call this pair of glasses the “I” glasses. I believe at one point in time all people who live and or work cross culturally wear these glasses, it is how we fit into places and how we help others to fit into our world (life). We must relate everything or most of everything to what works for us or fits into our understanding. To put it plainly, when we don’t understand something or it is to different from what we know or have experienced our first reaction is to either reject it completely or reason it into our own cultural understanding. This is sad but the truth and can easily be seen through the way we live our lives, from practical to the spiritual.
It is unfortunate that the above scenario is the most common pair of glasses we as people wear.
This is not just about how we see things, no it is more than that. It is our perspective on life, the way we relate to others and live around them, what we except into our lives as normal or what we shun.
I remember when I was in my 20’s there was this one day I found myself staring at this huge mural (painting ) on a wall. I remember being so captivated and engaged in it. I was in awe of the detail and the size of it. It was a painting of the earth! It showed everything, every continent, every country, every little island, everything! I looked at where I was at the time and where I had been in my life. I was speechless….
All my life, I had spent between 3to4 States on the west coast of the United States. As I stood there staring in awe of how big the world was and how little of it that I had seen or experienced. I couldn’t speak… All I kept thinking was “WOW” So many people, so many countries, so many cultures, and none of them are like me. They celebrate different holidays than I do, they eat differently than I do, they think differently than I do, they speak differently than I do… Everything I know, and everything I think I know is different and I don’t know any of them…
I learned early in my walk with the Lord that the word or the term we use to be a “disciple” means in the original Greek text of the bible “to be a learner”. Now we of course need to apply this to our spiritual life but why shouldn’t it go further than that… “To be a learner” in life, of life, through life! I know, heaven forbid that we would have to admit that we don’t really know something.
The last 16 years of my life have been spent observing, talking, living, asking questions, and learning how others live and experience life in their countries and cultures. It is by far the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Our God is so amazing!!! When I look at the map of our world today I realize now that I have had the joy of living and working in more countries than states I have visited in the U.S.
The other pair of glasses that I speak of has to do with what I just talked about in the above paragraphs. I will call them the “learner” glasses. These glasses are not always easy to wear sometimes they can be uncomfortable and at other times downright painful to have on. It requires us to take off our “I” glasses and when we do that we feel vulnerable, blind, and confused. Why would we consider doing such a thing you ask? When we do this we are putting ourselves aside and putting others above ourselves.
This is of course a very biblical principle, placing others above oneself. If everyone would just do this a little bit, the world could be a better place.
Having the learner glasses on means asking lots of questions, Questions about others; like what makes them tick? What makes them happy, sad, mad, etc. where did they come from (geographically, or just about their upbringing). What about their family, do they have siblings? Do they have both their parents, only one parent, or no parents? Were they exposed to religion at a young age, if so what, and what effect did it leave on them? What kind of traumatic events have they experienced in their lives? War, death’s & or decease, divorce, abuse;(physical, verbal, emotional). The list of questions can go on and on… this is how we learn, this is how we know people. In this moment it is all about them and not about you. I frequently ask my wife questions like, what do (you) like about the way I communicate. How can I communicate better to (you)? Do (you) like how I touch (you)? What can I do to make (you) feel more turned on? Do (you) like it when I, _______??
You see it is about what she wants and what she feels that is important to me! The largest part I play is the listening and learning then my actions will reflect how much I learned.
I have found that when I go into a relationship, another country or culture with my learner glasses on, what I gain personally can never be taught to me in a school or book. It is about the questions I ask and the attitude I have in the situation that will determine how much I can gain.


With the learner glasses on it is also important to ask questions to yourself as well! Questions like; what do I believe about______?? Why?? How has it affected my life? When _________(this) happened to me, why did I react the way I did? When _________(event) took place in my life, how did it affect my life and what did it make me believe about myself?
You see if we will just put on the learner glasses and ask the right questions, we can gain so much knowledge about God, others, ourselves, even our enemy.
I have actually experienced that the longer I wear these glasses the more comfortable they become. The more adventurous and enjoyable life also becomes. When I try to put back on the “I” glasses, they don’t fit right and I feel very uncomfortable in them. Life is really not as fun when all I see is “I”.
We all carry both glasses around with us but can choose which ones we wear. So how about it, what glasses are you most comfortable in??