Comfort for a day

The info I am about to share is very eye opening and down right shocking to be honest. By sharing these things I do not mean to shame anyone or try to bring guilt on any one in any way!!



The following facts and figures I read in a book that was written and given to me by a good friend of mine entitled “For what it's worth”, Author Simon Guillebaud.

In 1998, a UN Human Development report said that the three richest people in the world own the amount of wealth equal to the combined GDP of the worlds poorest 48 nations.

Basic education for the world only cost an extra $6 billion a year, while $8 billion a year is spent on cosmetics in the United States alone.

Installation of water and sanitation for the whole world would cost $9 billion, but $11billion is spent on ice-cream in Europe in one year.

Health care and Nutrition would cost $13 billion but $17 billion is spent each year in the US and in Europe on pet food.

$35 billion is spent on business entertainment in Japan.
$50 billion is spent on cigarettes in Europe.
$105 billion on alcoholic drinks in Europe.
$400 billion on narcotic drugs around the world.
$780 billion on the worlds armed forces.

In 1997, UNDP reports it would cost $80 billion a year to wipe out poverty from the planet until 2007, which is less than one half of one percent of global income and is about the equivalent of the combined net worth of the seven richest men on earth.

I have to be honest, reading these reports was very hard for me. Especially since I am living and working in what is considered to be the third poorest nation in the world.

Toward the end of last month we received an invitation from the Dutch embassy. It was announcing a party that would be held at the Netherlands ambassadors residence celebrating the national holiday “Queens day”. My wife and I got excited, wow I thought, a chance to get out and rub elbows with some of the high class locals and diplomats. Not to mention I knew there would a lot of free typical dutch food and as many drinks as I wanted.
Upon arrival I froze as I glanced around I could not help to feel like a fish out of water. There were around 400 people and as I said before the delicious food and drinks were flowing.
Immediately some one came and asked me what I would like to drink. As the night slowly progressed I found myself looking around and my mind taking me places that I didn't feel like being. I could not stop thinking about how much money was being spent on the free flowing alcohol and the countless trays of goodies that most likely had been flown in for this special event.
I then thought of all the embassies world wide, where I was sure similar functions were also happening at the same time or at least with in my time zone.
I began to feel sick to my stomach as I thought of all the aid and people that could be helped with the money that was being spent in just this one evening.

At this moment I had a choice to make, it was to burst into tears and leave the party or to some how turn myself off or at least my mind form what was happening to me. What I experienced next was what they call in psychology “disassociation”. This happens to many people in life during times of trauma, difficulty, hardship, and or when you find your self in a place / situation where you rather not be.
It is when the mind shuts off and you are there so to speak but also not. It actually is more common than people realize. You could call it a built in couping mechanism.
Have you ever heard the term the lights are on but no one is home?
This is what I experienced, part of me shut off and I then remember going through the rest of the evening having conversations and going through the motions. It was as if I was participating but not thinking of where or what was going on around me.

This reminded me of our trip back to the west (Europe & America) in 2008. I remember very well walking through large shopping malls and supermarkets. I would often be so over whelmed by all the stuff and all the choices, I would find my mind taking me back to Africa. then I would start crying as I thought about the orphans, the widows and the poorest of the poor that I had just spent the last 3.5 years of my life with. All of a sudden I would be pulled back into reality by one of my children making a comment or asking me a question.
All in all it was a difficult time, many times feeling uncomfortable with all the comfort, with all the choices. Don't get me wrong there were times of great joy and fun as well. But in all honesty it was bitter sweet. After a few weeks even my children were asking me when are we going home to Africa. Just that thought makes me want to cry again.

These last few days have got me thinking, what the hec is wrong with me?? There are times that I long for the comforts of the west! But when some of those times come, I find it hard to enjoy them. Why is it that even if I have the money to waste, or as they say burn. I find it hard to spend it on me or my family in the things that are considered comfort or luxurious here?
A while back some good friends of mine sent me and my family for a nice weekend at a five star hotel on a beautiful beach. They booked it and paid for everything, their only question to me was what week end are you going. They told me we are doing it this way because we know that if we just give you the money you will not spend it on your selfs, they were right. What a blessing!

I have have been wondering do all long term missionaries go through this?
Am I going crazy?
Am I ruined for Comfort???

I look back at those facts and figures above and ask the Lord this question. “if we could turn off comfort for one day around the world. What good could we do with all that money?