THE LEARNING...

“One thing you should know and one thing you will find out, it is that I live to follow God. My greatest desire in life is to hear his voice and obey. So what does that look like? Come and join mission with me as I try to answer that question.”

You will find this quote on the right side of my Blog, explaining a little bit about my profile.

So what does it look like??? That is a question that the Lord seems to be unfolding in the day to day, nonstop, up in your face life here… It was over five years ago that the Lord began to really put a burning and longing desire to see, have and do the same ministry that he had when he walked on the Earth. A ministry of Wholeness!! Seeing people set free from any and everything that is holding them back from true completeness in God. That would even include death!
I asked the Lord over and over for that anointing to be on the ministry he was giving us. Little did I know what I was asking for, “To walk in Christ shoes!” Do you have any idea just how big those shoes are, and what it Intel’s to have such a walk? Lets say that I am learning a lot.
You know that the word disciple in the bible, it means “to be a learner”… Glory to God, it seems that is all I have been doing lately.
Being here a little after a year I had fell into a dark hole. Depression, and fits of anger rapped it’s hands around me, I could see myself and did not like what I was seeing. Astrid at one time asked me “what is happening to you, I don’t know you?” I couldn’t explain it and couldn’t snap out of it. I had written my resignation letter to God and told him I quit and find some thing else for me to do. Every time I prayed God was quite. It only seemed to keep getting worse. One evening I sat down with my bible and said God this is really it!!! If you don’t tell me some thing now, I am gone!! The Holy spirit spoke very clear then… He said turn to Hebrews chapter12:4. Let me paraphrase for you what it said to me. “Travis shut your mouth and stop wining, you have not resisted to the point of the shedding of your own blood. My Son did, did you not want to walk in his shoes?”

At this word from the Lord, not only was I instantly humbled but began to laugh at the Lords sense of humor. I felt this huge heavy cloud lift off of me and have been free from it since. My eyes have been opened and I can now see when even the slightest thing tries to creep in. Thank you God for that humbling lesson! What a fight though, Holy crap… It’s not for no reason that God’s word says to take every thought captive!!

It has now been over two years here with out leaving for a break. I have found that the conversation about furlough and the need for a break has been ever increasing. I am so tired of the daily battle, trying to get our registration, the going around and around in circles and the hitting of walls. Getting so close only to find out there is another mountain behind the one we just climbed. I find the words drying up, worn out, and exhausted in my vocabulary. I am shorter with Astrid and the kids lately.

I keep thinking to my self, oh if we can just get a break!! So here I am, so focusing on wanting and needing a break and the Lord shows up with another lesson. Praise God this is what I signed up for right???
Oh to be a Learner….

The Lord asks me “Travis, can you minister when you are in pain? Can you minister when no one understands why your doing what your doing? Can you continue to be poured out when you feel dry and thirsty, when there seems to be nothing left? Can you minister in sickness and in death? Can you minister when all you feel like doing is packing up and going home? Can you Minister?” “MY SON DID!!”

Once again I was put in my place! Do I desire a break from the front lines? Do I want to take a rest for a couple of months? You bet I do!! But what I want and what I desire more than any of that, some thing far more valuable than taking a breather from the battle is this.

TO LIVE A LIFE FOLLOWING MY GOD, HEARING HIS VOICE AND OBEYING HIS EVERY COMMAND.

Thank you so much lord for your leading! Thank you for the way that you are teaching me! Thank you for you discipline!
Help me oh Lord to live a life worthy of the calling you have given me.

Your son, Travis

Amen