Wife, friend, sister, cousin....

I would like to share with you a funny but scary experience that happened to me just the other day. But first let me share with you a little about some African Culture's for those who don't know. In many African nations it is normal for men to have more than one wife. Some times numbering more than six or so...
In a lot of the Africa nations women are looked at as what we would call the baby factories or more politely the laborers.
In Rwanda this is not so... As we call having more than one spouse Polygamy, it is actually considered illegal here as well as the States. Of course that does not stop some, right.....

In Rwanda the spouse, childeren, and family in general do not take on the last name of the Father as in the States, they are named with there own given names. How family lines our known and kept in tact are beyond me. Yet every one seems to know who belongs to who... It is awesome and amazing!!
On the other hand I have learned that it is quit normal for a man two have three or four cousin's, sisters, or friends... this is how they are introduced (AKA) wife, lover, mistress, how ever you want to call it.
Just the other day I was in an office and meet a nice attractive young girl. As I waited we started talking. She was asking me about my family and my living in Rwanda. I told her that I was married and had four childeren, that we considered Rwanda our home... She seemed excited to hear this. I told her that one day I wished to have Rwandan residency and not to have to worry about visa's...
She turned and told me that what I needed was a Rwandan wife! Shocked at her response, I told her jokingly that I had a wife and didn't think I need any more, besides I said don't you know that it is illegal in Rwanda.
Yes she replied, it is... But you need to have a Rwandan wife pointing at her self. You see she said"on this side (motioning to her left)you have your wife and on this side (motioning to her right) you have a Rwandan" again insinuating her self.
I noticed that this time she did not use the word wife but just Rwandan.... I tried to play it off by showing her in a joking way what I knew about the way some men do here. So I told her, oh so you will be my sister, cousin, or friend..... Her eyes got big, and she seemed very surprised that I knew such a thing.... yet by her response I realized, holy Crap this women is serious.
She said "you know if you want the Rwandan ID (citizenship) and you ask for your self, they will refuse you... But if you have Rwandan (again insinuating to her self) after two or three years I call and ask for you and they can not refuse me!!!"

It was here that I decided to end the conversation! I acted surprised, which was not hard to do as I was pretty shocked at where the conversation was going. I told her thank you but that I was very happy with where my life was at and said I have to go now.
With that said I went straight home and shared with Astrid what had just taken place. She could not believe it, we had some real laughs as we went together and also shared with our house staff that strange experience. In return they shared with us some other similar interesting stories of things that happen here in their culture.

I tell you I love life here!!! Never a dull moment!!!
I guess I should not say that it was funny or that I laughed because actually it is very sad and a bit scary!! Laughing is a typical response in a lot of African cultures, when something is uncomfortable or they are not quite sure how to respond to something it is easier to laugh.
I guess we are catching on after all...
God help us.... But only in the right things.....